He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings Pinchin' nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with jergensĪnd I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workingĪnd every single person is a slim shady lurkin' I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at allĪnd whether you like to admit it, I just shit itīetter than ninety percent of you rappers out can The only difference is I got the balls to say it Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin' you Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like meĪnd just might be the next best thing but not quite me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"Īnd show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD You little bitch, put me on blast on M.T.V So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred DurstĪnd hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? "But slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records 'Coz I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady So won't The Real Slim Shady please stand up Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goesĪll you other slim shadys are just imitating Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elopeīut if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Who cut other people open like cantaloupesīut if we can hump dead animals and antelopes "We ain't nothing but mammals", well, some of us cannibals
They got the discovery channel don't they? Of course they gonna know what intercourse is "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lipsĪnd if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss"Īnd that's the message that we deliver to little kidsĪnd expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is and just let loose, but can'tīut it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head looseīut no worse, than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms Look at him, walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-whatįlippin' the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though!" Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement!Ĭhigga chigga chigga, "Slim shady, I'm sick of him He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"ĭr. It's the return of the, "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding They first were divorce, throwin' her over furniture Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the doorĪnd started whoopin' her ass worse than before Y'all act like you never seen a white person before I repeat will, The Real Slim Shady please stand up? Will, The Real Slim Shady please stand up?